1 Year & 1 Month of TTC Baby #2: Taking A Break

Welp, here we are yet again. I’m not surprised that Aunt Flo reared her red head today, but I am disappointed beyond belief. I had so much hope.

Follicular Phase

CD1: My cycle started on August 6th, which was a God send for me because I was flying to Kauaʻi a week later for two weeks. I let the fertility clinic know that I had gotten a full flow cycle. They prescribed me with another round of Clomid and instructed me to take it beginning Day 3 for 5 days.

CD3-5: I started taking Clomid as instructed on CD3. On CD4, which would have been my second dose, I forgot to take it. :( How could I forget? I just did. On CD5 I took another dose. And then on CD6 I forgot again. UGH! I decided then that it was probably a moot point, even though I did not consult with my clinic. I know, I probably should have, but I just had so much going on work and personal wise, I just needed to let it be.

CD10: I should have started OPK testing at this point, but because I was so busy with work (I mean non-stop days for two weeks straight), I ended up forgetting to pack them when I left and I thought that by the time my husband and son would join me on my trip, I’d be done ovulating anyway. I figured I could track on my Oura ring anyway, based on temperature shifts around when I may have ovulated.

CD13: My temperature rised on CD13 pretty significantly, so I was sure I had ovulated, but then it went back down until CD19.

CD20: My temperatures started to show a sustained rise, so Oura noted my ovulation day as CD18 or August 23rd.

I couldn’t believe my luck!

I was away from my husband and son from CD8 until CD14. When I saw my temperature rise on CD13 I was like of course we would just miss the window. We ended up doing the baby dance CD15-CD19 which was right in that fertile window. I was so beyond stoked. I really though, what are the chances? Things were lining up….

Luteal Phase

CD20 - CD29: My temperature showed sustained rises (for the most part) with my CD29 temperature reaching a +0.9 over baseline! After comparing my temperatures to previous cycles, it had never reached that high right before a period, I was SO EXCITED. I was ChatGPTing up a storm trying to figure out what this could mean. I even created a Google Sheet to chart my past cycles to see how it compared to my current cycle (see chart below).

This chart is so busy and all over the place, but if you can follow the green line in the luteal phase, you can see how it differs from the other cycles. It has a steady rise over time versus dips and peaks like the others. Surely this could only mean great things, right?

Symptoms: On top of my significant temperature rise, I wasn’t experiencing any of my usual PMS symptoms. I typically always have some type of discharge and it was dry as a dessert down there! I did have some tenderness in the breasts, but a lot less than usual. I had no cramps, but did have one-sided pains (kind of like ovulation). I had some other non-cramp like pains in my uterus area that I don’t usually feel so I was feeling very, very hopeful.

CD30: On CD30, I woke up to a drop in my temperature from +0.9 over baseline to +0.1 and I absolutely cringed at the thought. But CD30 came and went the same CD20 through 29 did. No symptoms an no sign of a period.

Other Thoughts: When I got pregnant with my son, I went on a mental and physical break. I stopped caring what I put into my body. I ate fast food multiple times a day, drank copious amounts of alcohol, stayed up late, woke up early, and even got sick with COVID. Because I was so busy with work, this was kind of the same sentiment I had coming out of the busy weeks… Maybe it helped to stick because I wasn’t constantly in trying and thinking about getting pregnant.

Follicular Phase (Again)

CD1: So, here we are again at Cycle Day 1. And I am feeling all the feels. Disappointed and sad among the top feelings. Thoughts of what is wrong with me? Why can’t I just get pregnant? This is so frustrating. I give up.

I feel like my body is not reacting well to the Clomid like it did when I got pregnant with Easton. Since being on Clomid, my body has reacted in such different ways that I can’t help but wonder if it’s God’s way of saying I need to let it go.

All I know is that I just want to take a break. It’s been over a year in the making and I am beginning to get discouraged.